so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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