Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Randomize
