I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize