no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
