the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
