stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
