i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
