Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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