my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
