The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
