We're facebook friends in real life
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
