I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
My dick has a subreddit
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
