so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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