so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
last night I used snow as a chaser
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
