Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
