You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
