But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
