I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Blood and glitter go together right?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
