My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
