its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
