At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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