Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
