She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
