I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
