Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
