Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
