I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
