you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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