i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
