dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
