You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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