garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
