The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
and she was petting her beer can
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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