So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
