Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
