i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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