I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
