would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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