so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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