Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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