Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
