God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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