I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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