There was a lot of him and a little penis
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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