How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
