"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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