I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
