Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just high enough for therapy.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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