were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
