I wish life had little blips of pornography
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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