don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
